I had days where I would wake up feeling I had nothing to offer, I would put myself down, and judged my abilities based on past mistakes. Not a single day passed without wrestling with my inner gremlins. My inner critics were fierce, strategic and powerful voices that continued to stop me from achieving and living the life I wanted to have. Unfortunately, I confused the overly critic voice with being analytic and cautious but didn’t realise how I was rationalising my situation to fit my emotional state.
You might be dragging along your past mistakes in your life preconditioning you to be afraid to fail again. You are more pre-occupied with what could go wrong again and find yourself making a lot of excuses for why any new opportunities aren’t a good fit for you.
What is wrong with having been heartbroken, disappointed, failed in career or business in the past? There is absolutely nothing wrong or tiring about experiencing failure. When you are at the rock bottom you will grow, your approach to challenges and opportunities changes.
Any sane person can find it awkward that you can help a friend to overcome their self-doubt by repeatedly telling them how great they are. Yet you are the same person who is always on the receiving end from your inner critic that tells you how worthless you are, how you can never achieve anything, you aren’t born to make a difference, you can never be with anyone yet you are quick to give assurance to a friend, telling them how their mistakes aren’t the end of the world, that they have more to give and they should persevere till something gives. Just when I thought the catch phrase charity begins at home makes any sense; you are destroying the best of you yet fighting for the next person’s life. There is a lot more in you than you often believe.
Lock away such poisonous thoughts the same way you lose toxic people in your life. If you agree that toxic people believe everything is impossible and are ready to shoot anything down, then why aren’t you aware of the dangers of entertaining your own toxic inner critic. It is likely to poison your state of hopelessness. The same way you raise a red flag when dealing with toxic people is the same way you should alarm yourself against your gremlins.
Exaggerating and amplifying your thoughts in a disproportionate and unrealistic way only serve to destroy you. You need to give yourself credit despite your past mistakes or shortcomings. So why not stop regurgitating your failures and re-playing them in your head over and over. So what you missed on previous opportunities that you lost a job, you failed in business, failed relationships but that doesn’t define who you are or spell your end. So why not embrace your flaws and;
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Stop worrying about what you cannot achieve today
- Stop being do hard on yourself
- Stop allowing other people’s limiting beliefs to become your own
- Stop holding on the negative things from your past
- Stop focusing on the one thing you got wrong
- Stop thinking that happiness is only for other people
- Stop focusing on your flaws and credit your achievements
- Stop letting your inner critic overpower you but fight back with self-love
- Stop shaming yourself for every mess you make
- Stop beating yourself once and for all
- Stop thinking that you are not worthy of love
You need to understand that allowing your inner critic time or space to attack your ability to turn your situation doesn’t help solve the problem. When you overwhelm yourself with such thoughts, you are likely to feel hopeless and helpless. It can be exhausting and destructive to enslave yourself. Understand that whilst there is space and use for inner critic, never let it drown you by falsifying your competencies, capabilities and abilities.
There is nothing wrong about being critical of your own shortcomings but there is always a balance to be maintained. You are a great piece, more than capable of taking on any challenges despite some of your flaws. Recognise such flaws but don’t go about wallowing in them. There is no one who is immune to flaws yet they never let their shortcomings dictate or shape their life.
We all have ways of motivating and pushing ourselves listening to deeper voices inside us. However, the sources of motivational voices are completely different from the anxiety-provoking and shaming inner critic that instead of pushing you forward imprison and limit you. If you have been under the clutches of your gremlins you need to liberate yourself and embrace opportunities as they come.
It is time to praise yourself even for the small steps or little achievements. What happened in the past might never change, but you have power over what happens next. Never refute your abilities based on past failures. Always be mindful that, you can only discover in fullest what you are capable of after trying. If your life is going to be worth living, that mean, vicious voice needs to dissipate and leave you free. Today is the day you need to divorce from your gremlins and take next steps in regaining your life.
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