Yes, you can be a strong person, determined and tough as a diamond but at times it is inescapable to feel the downside of humanity. The feeling of wanting to give up is not alien to all people as we at times lack ability to see beyond current pain, failure or the need to justify our actions today for the good of tomorrow. Just like the next person, there are days or times when you completely feel like you have lost purpose, that your dreams are slipping through your fingers, or you can’t revive a business, relationship or career. Is it normal for you to feel beat, to feel defeated and at best to want to give up? Dont be too hard on yourself when you find the going tough and likely to cede your plans away.
Yes, it is hard to constantly maintain the perspective and visualise the end but with perseverance, determination the transformation will happen. Your desires to have a better life should also come with an understanding and acceptance that you will go through pain, struggles and tough situations. The longer the road to your goal, the harder it gets to take even just one little further step before you are tempted to give up so why not try some of these tips;
- Understand what makes you want to quit; Before you entertain the idea of giving up, you need to take audit of what it is that is making you fall for this option. A thorough introspection retrospectively and prospectively can be the right tool you need to inform your position. You can achieve this by breaking the issue into smaller components until you are able to point to where you limitations lie.
- Learn To Feel Uncomfortable; You are likely to meet more challenges in life especially when you set goals that surpasses the norm. Breaking boundaries means your likelihood of experiencing tougher situations will inevitably take a peak. Unprepared and with the thought that your dreams will come to you easily as taking a walk through the park makes you feel like you are being thrown off the cliff when the unexpected occurs. As Harriet Beecher Stowe says “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn”. Just like anything in life, you have to factor in the element of unexpected events, risks, challenges, good and bad times. When you are readied you can at-least wade off and shield yourself and put in mitigation mechanisms to reduce the impact. You are in a position to accept, refocus, re-energise and continue on your path when you live in anticipation.
- Remember what keeps you going; If you were to weigh the benefits of giving up versus being persistent and enduring a bit more pain, which way would your pendulum swing? When the cost of giving up are high, you are better off remaining steadfast because you will forever regret the lost chance(s). You need to want what you are doing enough or a lot more to effectively weigh-down any thoughts of giving up. Understanding where the value lies in your actions and words on a daily basis can be the difference in sparking a break through or completely caving. Wherever you can replay Marta’s words “Never give up, and be confident in what you do. There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all the odds”.
- Revisit the reason you started in the first place; When you initially venture into a business, relationship, profession or sports, there is something great that keeps your heart pounding. The level of interest will not remain the same throughout because of abrasions, difficulties, challenges and unexpected events. There are times you get beat down that without a constant reminder of why you chose this path in the first place, you fail to place value to it. Constantly reminding yourself fuels you up and helps to give you the necessary motivation. You need to feed on every amount of motivation be it intrinsic or external to remain focused.
- Win through Persistence; If there is any common habit whether you are an Olympian, a doctor, a business person, a student or in a relationship, it is persistence. Your first effort doesn’t always yield the same result compared to your second and subsequent efforts. You are likely to make an impact if you persist. I say this with most confidence when I say even the most insurmountable challenge will give away to continuous concentrated effort. Continue to improve on your job prospects, keep engaging investors, never stop approaching the difficult customers, never stop working on your relationship and all this will pay off. Perseverance can be a great way of you unlearning ways that make you feel like giving up. “Perseverance is not a long race, it is many short races one after the other”Walter Ellliot
- Share Your Goals; I know you can be timid to let others know of your endeavours but sharing can at times make you more accountable. Having someone who can audit your performance and make you reflect on your journey can at times help you to keep going. “It does not matter how slowly you go for as long as you don’t stop”. – Confucius
- Be Proud; Every part of your life you traverse is different and each accomplishment deserves recognition. Whilst such achievements might come across as mediocre, you need to be proud and pamper yourself because no one else can do this for you.
- Learn to rest but not quit; There are days you don’t even feel like getting up even for a cup of coffee. When you get to a stage where you feel too exhausted mentally and physically, rest and reset. There is every benefit in removing yourself from your intense situation and afford your mind space to rejuvenate. You need to learn how to take a break as rest isn’t only helpful but a premise for de-cluttering before you re-energise. Always remember there is a real difference between resting and and quitting.
When you feel like giving up, whether the circumstances are complex or the problems seem unsurmountable, the most functional response to getting knocked down is to get back up. This is not an easy task and by no means simple thing but it is the only direction to take. You need to harness your energy and build new attitude, faith and hope that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You’ve got to maintain the belief that no matter how it may seem, the universe isn’t stacked against you. We have to remember always that the dirt is the fertile ground where we grow. In our moment of darkness, we are like the seed that needs to trust the darkness that soon it will be thrust out towards fertile direction. It is in our worst ties that we get shaped, grow, have new perspectives and are ready to confront anything in life. Instead of wailing, why don’t you develop a new attitude towards the very things that are of essence for your growth and are indeed a catalyst for the much needed change? As Jack Ma says “Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine”.
© 2016 – 2017, sheconquers. All rights reserved.