For the readers who have been following this blog, I last mentioned that at one point I found myself at the rock bottom. Ladies for those of you in this position I feel your pain, those who are finding a way out I share support but for those who haven’t experienced this, I just wanted to say it can be lonely and difficult. As I was down, those around felt like I had settled. Surely, how could I have? I had always pictured my life differently and certainly, this wasn’t me.
As you all know hard work eventually pays off. When my sweat started paying off, all the people around me weren’t comfortable with my changes, they wanted the same old me to remain. My situation was appealing to them, they only knew me as a miserable person and this is whom they wanted me to be forever. Do you find yourself having to choose between your dream or people around you?
For me it was a simple choice so too should it be for you.
As soon as you start making dramatic changes to your pattern you also notice how people in your life become different. There is nothing that can be as uncomfortable as change. Even significant person in your life will find your changes distasteful only preferring the old you. Mind you, it doesn’t matter even if the old you was a wreck or had no future to talk about, that is the person they had become accustomed to. Your status then provided them with some form of security and they would resist any changes. They will make a point to show that they don’t like your change of demeanour. Anyone who is bound to outgrow their expectations becomes an outlier, weird and unacceptable unless they change back.
Humans are creatures of habit and often set parameters and norms for everyone. One of the analogies for their failure to accept change is how caterpillars would find a flying butterfly weird.
You can expect the reaction from the caterpillar because it lacked the vision to see beyond its settled habits. Just as well, your transformation from your status quo and mundane ways comes as a shock to friends and relatives whose ways remain the same as well as their expectations about you.
It probably took you time to talk yourself into making changes in your life, followed by hard work to see through your transformation. Under normal circumstances, you would only expect those around you to celebrate your growth. But how could they, you are breaking the established pattern of interaction. If you were expecting some cheering you are in for a rude shock.
Instead of getting support or motivation they clutter you with questions about your ability to take on your new found opportunity. Girl, we have known each other for long, don’t you think you are taking a big risk? I don’t think you are geared for this? The put-downs come in different ways, from those that prey on guilt to subtle ones. Ever heard anyone say girlfriend you are too mellow to be taking on stressful challenges. The less forthright will make sarcastic comments behind your back. So you get called names, get categorized or labelled, so what?
If you were waiting for a signal, such questions and behaviours should just make you reconsider the company you keep. Their reactions indicate you have outgrown them all and you should focus on your growth be it a career, business or relationship. You have already overcome the fear to act on your dream, you certainly can’t be scared of losing negative people. You need to reign in any fears that sway you away from standing out on your own. You have so much more to offer than just being identified as part of a group. Yes standing out might come with every ridicule, with less acceptance but just realise they once accepted you because you had nothing to do. You need to continue traversing your path moving away from pain to power without being clouded by their negativity. Leave no room in your life for those who moan and groan because that is highly contagious unless if they awaken to your new found energy and join your journey.
It can be lonely when you are transitioning from negative groups to positive ones. As they say, like attracts like, you will certainly meet new people whose energy resonates with yours. Keeping positive company will help you to broaden your perspective and grow. In this new found growth, you will get abundant joy and fulfillment. It would make no sense whatsoever to hold onto people who aren’t uplifting. If you are still drifting, drift so far away and continue unleashing in whatever you are doing. Just always remember that yes ships look beautiful on the port, but they were never made to anchor. You owe it to yourself to stand out and shine.
Your standards and achievements can actually lift those around you so stop blending and aim higher. You will not fit any longer as they will treat you as the weird one. By any means, they would want you to change back and settle. Just like a beautiful flying butterfly, after experiencing the freedom of flying, you can never give up such change for anything or anyone in the world. Never find yourself settling to fit in. Transformation is a beautiful thing go on ahead and be great I’m rooting for you.
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