Many times we find ourselves surrounded by people who have settled and are less driven or ambitious. They bask in mediocrity. They live a life of no dreams, no aspirations or desires to make a difference. Whatever they do or think of, they are intimidated by the world and choose to settle instead. To them, life is at a standstill and its as if they have reached their final destination. Unfortunately, they are intimated by your ambitions and high standards so instead of propping you they try by all means to weigh you down. They will use subtle and at times direct approach to sway you just so you settle for mediocrity. You are made to feel that having high standards is terrible.
Let me assure you – there is nothing to regret about the way you are, how ambitious you are, the way you think and those high standards you have set for yourself. Unfortunately for anyone who is going to want to be with you in a relationship, to want to do business with you or just vibe with you they have to learn to climb up. You aren’t just going to waste your time on people with no drive or ambition. You shouldn’t lower your standards to make those around you feel more comfortable or just to settle.
You have probably been told countless times that, girl, “you are fu****n too much, too ambitious, too passionate, your standards are way too high and that you need to lower them if you were to pursue a career, to be in a relationship or be happy. There is no good enough reason to lower your standards here is why?
You’re going to regret settling for less
The moment you even think about lowering your standards you have already given up. So don’t you even dare think about it. Its not like you have given up finding want you want in life but you have given up on the person you love most-you. By considering lowering your standards you are indirectly telling yourself that you are not the person you thought you were. You suddenly aren’t good enough, competent enough or ambitious enough. You begin to think that maybe it’s okay for people to take you for granted, to be fobbed by your bosses, to be with a partner who doesn’t meet or level with you. Far from it -Its never okay. Nothing or no-one stands in your way if you feel like settling. It’s your personal choice. It doesn’t matter the challenges you are facing or difficulties you have. When you decide to drop your standards and settle, you will certainly regret it. You will always be confronted with the what if I had tried harder, what if I had raised my standards questions? When you raise such questions then it means lowering your standards is not an option.
You are better off being called picky than just going with the flow so cut yourself some slack
When you set high standards you will often hear many people say you are just picky. People will have problems with your higher standards making you feel like you are being unrealistic. To be real to them is just taking any job, being with any partner for as long as you are in a relationship or to just settle. If you think about it, people who genuinely love you expect the most from you- they get thrilled to see you shine and become the best version of yourself. If anything they will even drive your standards up because they strongly believe there is more in you to give to the world. Sadly, those who pretend to love you, the mediocre type or the suitors who never dare to raise their standards will never want you to become the brighter version of yourself. The only reason why they say you are picky, or too ambitious or unrealistic is that they fear you will lose them. You are better off being picky than surrounding yourself with people who don’t want to see you grow.
Only you can be blamed for any crap treatment you get when you lower your standards
The life you strive for is a reflection of the standards you set for yourself and things you can’t stand or tolerate. When you hang out with mediocre people and lower your standards to fit in, you are likely to find yourself in situations that make you feel disrespected. Lowering your standards allows people around you to say and do things they wouldn’t normally say or do to you. This is you saying you are giving them the green light to trample over you and disrespect your boundaries. Mediocre people often put their energy into finding someone who they can look down at and treat as a doormat. They obviously feel threated and have less to say to someone who is doing better and has higher standards than them. When you are in control of your standards you make it known that you don’t entertain such behaviours but deserve to be treated right- There is no reason or justification to downgrade yourself. You’ll only have yourself to blame when you get mistreated or taken for a nobody.
You are only responsible for yourself
If people in your life aren’t ready to step up their game, they might as well bid you farewell. Forget about lowering your standards, you actually need to even set them up and aim to get the best. There is no gain in being around people with no ambition, no goals, no drive or determination. Mind you, chances are you are likely to be like the person you hang out with. Would you want to be just the same as those with lower standards-surely not? You owe it yourself to control what goes in or out of your life. This is your chance to dictate what is your taste, preferences, what is acceptable or non-acceptable. When you truly respect yourself you know what boundaries to set, you know how people should relate to you and in what way, you are self-aware of the people that add value or diminish it.
You should take responsibility in making yourself happy even if it means guarding your higher standards and letting go of those who dare you to lower them. Be with people who elevate your thinking, habits, character, mindset, and actions to a new level.
Only you can set your standards.
You owe it to yourself to raise your bar so high, to have those standards so high up that no-one can dare raise them for you. This is about you knowing who you truly are and be the kind of person you want to be. The life you live is certainly a reflection of the standards you hold. When you set your standards so high you even make it so easy to do away with fake people, the likely partners that will never match up or even the terrible bosses who can never handle your ambitions. Being in charge of your standards gives you control and power to even attract things you like. I guarantee you this is the only way to your happiness whether you are seeking for a date, for partners, or even work. You cant get into a business partnership with a person of low standards for the sake of it nor can you be involved in a relationship so as to be with someone. Be rest assured, accepting or rejecting things is what brings joy to your heart. Don’t accept what you should reject. The truth is lowering your standards is one big waste of time.
Only you can value yourself first
If you ever wanted people to treat you right and with respect, you have to value yourself. It starts with you. When you feel like you haven’t got anything to offer or you are not worth, then like-wise people will treat you like that. It is that simple. No-one can ever take you for a doormat when you show them how much you respect yourself. They will know that trash business of any nature or type is not welcome. Its either they conform and live to your standards or its goodbye.
© 2017, sheconquers. All rights reserved.
Yes yes and yes I have always said this if people aren’t meeting me on my level the door is open
Thanks for this
I not know why my friends not understand standards. Yes not from the city but have aspirations,everytime tell me my standards too high.
Olgoa its not about where you are. Standards are a measure of your aspirations and ambitions, embrace them and shine
Have dealt with work colleagues and bosses who believe I should settle and just be appreciative of where I am, I cant deal with settling, I rather struggle but aim higher. My standards are a definition of me
I cant going by life regretting, better up my standards
I benefited every bit
This is on point
I am not just about to drop standards to make my friends feel at ease, I am flying high up, catch me if you can
That is the way to go, Toni, unless if you want to settle, keep aiming high
Noone comes between me and my standards, they have to shape up
If l didn’t have and maintained my standards l would lose my identity
Dey say am proud so I do everything possible 2 please everyone even If I get affected…
You just have high standards, you don’t have to by life pleasing everyone, you will get hurt and disappointed. Focus on you and your standards.
Cant handle people who go about in life being blown by the wind, they never take a second to look at what even makes them look better-Surprise surprise they turn on me because I got me some standards-seriously this was right on point
You are right, there are groups of people who live a life with no defined goals or standards. To them, life is what is presented to them. Its a waste of time being around people who cant grow or at least have standards.