Adversity sucks, tough times are never pleasurable – if we had a choice we would rather avoid it. It is frustrating, stressful, and at times hurts so bad to be stuck in a rut. When you are in the moment everything feels horrible. It feels like you are in a dump, a shi* place with no hope but misery.
But much to the contrary we can’t grow without going through tough times. As tough and horrible as it might seem, there is nothing that can better shape you than emerging from a challenging experience. This is a place of rich wisdom, a must have if I must say.
When the unexpected happens its easier to wallow and find things or people to blame. It is very difficult to remain positive and have hope that all things will change. I am sure you have heard the phrase tough times never lasts but when you are at the rock bottom it seems this doesn’t make sense. Of-course it does, and I know very well that tough times do come but there is always an end. You get bruised, you are battered, stressed and left feeling like giving up but at the same time you are being nurtured into a resilient baddass woman. Allow yourself to be churned and shaped into a tough, focused and determined person. Here is how you can emerge as a winner after facing challenges;
Everything can and will change
Life takes you through lows and highs. You never get stationed in one place but keep going. Today you are in pain, you are hurt and feel stressed but that too shall pass. Your misery is replaced by happy moments in times to come.
Obviously when you are in anguish, when everything is painful you don’t see how things might change. You probably don’t even want to hear that because your pain is shutting any positive prospects that are yet to come. A dark cloud hovers over you so strong that you feel like life is not worth living.
But in those moments, however impossible you might think things are, you can never be stuck forever. There is that day, the moment which you can’t even imagine that is waiting to happen. Believe in possibilities, believe in change and keep moving forward. Change is coming. A new beginning is possible, be brave and make the best of your situation.
Life can change in an instant, literally a second, the universe can realign and set you off to even a level you never imagined you could achieve. Everything passes.
You have overcome challenges before
Never estimate your abilities when you are faced with challenges. When confronted with challenges, take a step back and realise that no matter how big, you have a lot more power and ingenuity in you that when unleashed can make you tower over your situation. You have done things before, your problem-solving skills are sharper, your focus is on point and you are more resilient. You have been tested, you were shaken before but now you can withstand anything that comes your way.
You overcame before so you can overcome now, remember to just keep your head high. You got this.
It’s a learning experience
Challenges provide a learning opportunity – innovation starts with the need to solve a problem. Just as well, problems and situations in your life present you with a learning experience. Your dire need to get yourself from a challenge makes you dissect and learn how and why the situation has arisen. You might not be aware of things you learn when in a challenging situation but with time you will shape up. Make it a point to use each failed attempt as a learning experience so that in future the same cannot happen.
Not getting what you want can be a blessing
At times when we are set on what we want we go all the way trying everything just to get that. It doesn’t matter how many times you get rejected, you get burned, you just remain fixed on it. Well sometimes, you might be chasing the wrong thing. Sometimes the rejections are only pushing you away from a situation that can throw you off the cliff.
You need to trust the process, don’t push any further. In hindsight, you will appreciate that not getting what you want is a blessing. Your life today might be harder and unbearable only to tell you that what you are seeking is not good for you.
Allow yourself to have some fun
Sometimes we are just not in control, situations deteriorate rapidly that you feel like you can’t manage. Sure as hell, if you keep fighting it and never have a moment away you will get stressed.
Why not take a moment away and shut your mind off your challenges. Find something to do, play games, be childlike, have a bit of an I don’t care attitude, go out for a drink and have a laugh.
A bit of fun can uplift your mood and have a positive effect on your mind. When things do go wrong, which at times they do, allow yourself to still have some fun. It is healthy to have a break however short or long from the stress of hard times.
Being kind to yourself is the best medicine
For all you know, your situation is tougher on you because you never give yourself a break. You might have made mistakes, we all damn do but it doesn’t mean you should beat yourself way much. Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. Being too tough on yourself can only make it tough for you to get through your challenges. You need to have trust in your abilities, be nice to yourself and never drown in negative thoughts.
Other peoples negativity isn’t worth worrying about
In times of trouble, you will get surrounded by a lot more negative people. It is as if something draws them to you. People will use all sorts of damning words to bring you down, they will paint a dark picture that you can never escape. People will always talk especially when you are in a fix.
Don’t let this bring you down. Shield yourself from negative people and their hurtful comments and remarks. Such a separation allows you to focus on you and the next steps.
Only worry about what is important to you, about how you can get to the other side. Fuc* the naysayers and the negative people.
And there is always, always something to be thankful for;
Sometimes we get consumed by situations that we only focus on the negatives. Its as if nothing is going for you. You constantly zoom into the bad and forget about other things you should be thankful for.
When you are down, being thankful can help you realise that tough times can never last. At any time there is something going for you, be it good health, a roof over your head, a career, family, or even relationship. Being grateful takes your focus away from the negative. Keep counting your blessings even when times are tough. Never stop noticing the good around you. When times get tough, know that you can push through and push past to reach new levels of greatness. Resilient people will always raise, no matter how tough times might be
© 2018, sheconquers. All rights reserved.
This is what I wanted most, timely post
When in bad times, I bash myself badly. I feel this has given a chance to rethink
I am now a tough cookie and can relate to how each challenge is a learning experience, thanks
Sometimes it feels like the end is never gona happen, thanks for this
Had to also change the set of people around me, always saying things like my life is never going to be different-the negative vibes and jibs
I found counting the little things I had been blessed with took my mind off my troubling situation, being thankful for blessings is surely a must have
The best thing I ever done to myself after my previous tough past was just to learn and learn, I know the future might bring similar times but I am more knowledgeable now
I buried my hand in the sand but obviously didn’t make things any better when I kept bashing myself. Time to be a bit kind and maybe can see things differently
Thanks for this posts, enjoyed reading
Without my friends insisting on me being out and having a bit of fund, my situation could have been tougher and more stressful
If you aint helping do better, then take your negativity elsewhere.