Well, just as all other things in my life have never actually been planned, so is this idea of starting to write. It may turn into a book, or a column or may just go down in some corner. Don’t actually know. But definitely its something I had on my mind from long back. I always seen myself as someone women found very inspiring and had it on mind that I must write something someday, something that can empower women and help them use it to understand that they too can be in control of their lives.
My views are below:
Happiness lies within
Ladies, and yes each of you are equally beautiful, do take charge of your happiness. Its as simple as smiling. The definitions the world have for happiness which you are naturally bound to get influenced by is just an outer, external perception of happiness. Don’t let anyone decide for you if you are happy or not. And what I mean by that is, its not about looking good, having a beautiful body, or being as successful as per the benchmark set by somebody else, or finding an ideal man to marry so that the society gives you a so called acceptance. Neither do I want to say that the above is wrong. Its all in the mind. Take charge of it! If being a homemaker makes you happy, then you are. If being single makes you happy, then you are. If making a career makes you happy then you are. If lazing around doing nothing at times makes you happy then you are and I could add a lot more things to the list. The formula to be happy is to disconnect yourself from the norms and definitions as presumably set by the world.Define your own benchmark for it. Take charge!!!
Dare to Lead
Most of us are unaware of our own hidden talents and there are a lot of circumstantial reasons to it. Fortunate are those women who get all the opportunities and encouragement from the social environment they dwell in. However, not every woman will be in an environment favourable enough with opportunities. Create one, every time, everywhere and dare to lead it. A natural leader is not only someone who seizes an opportunity, it’s also someone who creates it. While some are born leaders a few eventually evolve and it’s a constant learning. Knowing your strengths, being confident about them and able to put it across to people around is your leadership key is. The golden rule is to seize every opportunity around you, small or big, it does not matter. What matters is the art of how you make it big, better and how you leave your mark in your own distinctive manner.
Avoid every negative energy
While we strive hard to discover ourselves and our own path to success and happiness, however, you are bound to face negativity in a smaller or bigger way. More often negative energies arise out of people who may not understand you or see you as a threat to their own path. You may face instances which demoralise and make you question your own worth. The key to dealing with it is IGNORE! No one decides benchmarks for you. Put yourself above judgements and opinions people make out of you for their own good. It’s a good idea to keep aware of opinions as you get free advice on areas to polish, however, never give any weight to negative comments. Your well wishers would never make you feel terrible but instead, they will find a way to convey their advice in a right manner. An attempt to shatter your soul and spirit is danger! Believe in yourself, ignore negativity and walk away from places which attempt to kill your confidence. Be around people who get the best out of you.
Read, be aware, and seek knowledge
Keep yourself abreast on whats happening in the world. Doesn’t matter which place you belong to. Have the desire to know and learn. Try to know whats happening around you and the world at large. Everyday, everything you read, learn, discover, is someday going to contribute to changes you want to institute in your own life. No information is a waste, no matter how small or big. Have the urge to learn, the urge to know, the urge to be informed as much as you can.
Language is not a Barrier
A lot of women who studied from the (non-English) medium are less confident to communicate and assert their approaches. Language is not a barrier if you’ve got the will to lead. Although English is an international language most of the countries are not very fluent in their vocabulary. Remember it’s always about the content and not the cover. What matters is knowledge or expertise in a specific area. Remember to focus on content, knowledge, and try to be a subject matter expert. When it comes to language barriers, it’s important to master your own first language and English being the language of the world gives you empowerment. So learn it as much as possible however never look down upon yourself if you are not fluent in it. The real world values knowledge and your expertise. In extreme cases, you could always outsource the language barrier.
Invest in health and fitness
While it’s important to have knowledge and know about the world, it’s also important to take care of your own well-being. Put health as your first priority. Never ignore any signs of concern. Keep fit, exercise if you like and have a balanced diet. It’s important to have controlled weight than later trying to lose it. Health also involves a healthy mind which means keep your thoughts under control. Keep any source of negativity out and train your mind to focus on the good. Mind controls the body hence the art to master your thoughts needs to be developed over a period of time. While meditation could be a way to it, not everyone prefers to do it. Keeping the mind busy and occupied is one of the biggest key to a controlled thought process. Avoid idle time in distress, keep engaged in some activity which occupies thought creativity. No external force can control you as long as you are in charge of your own thoughts.
Image and Personality
There is a lot of definitional disconnect about these terms and how people perceive them. It’s important to know while good looks contribute to your external image, personality is what you are within. Both are important and essential. When it comes to image it’s not about looking like a model, however, keeping yourself decently groomed and highlighting on your key features. Personality is more in-depth, and how you are within. Personality is developing the art of mannerism, rational thought process, being true, gentle, kind, considerate and polite. Be confident in your interactions, be fair and unbiased during decision making, having a calm mind in adversities. Connect with people, reach out during good and bad times, be emotionally intelligent.
Control time, don’t let time control you
We read a lot of articles on time management and effectively managing time. However, have a different approach to life. Don’t make your life a time table. Don’t let it control you. It’s important to value it as all of us have limited time to live however if your life and its events are bound by time, age and deadlines you are not living, you are following. Make sure you are in control by having a lifestyle that gives you flexibility and choice to manage your time. If you are leading a life where you are constantly complaining with no time for an activity you are wanting to do, then you are not in control of your time. It’s okay to not want to do something and not doing it, but it’s absolutely not okay to want to do something and not having adequate time for it. Think about what you want to do with your own life and then follow it. The definitions of the world are good for referring, however, each of us should have our own plans rather than having a life driven by a time bound benchmark. Life is short, take it easy!
Have an opinion
Speak your mind. It’s important to have an opinion of your own. It not necessarily about being right or wrong but it’s about having the courage to speak up for your own thoughts. It’s about being you. Never be shy or reluctant that any idea or thought is not worth speaking about. By speaking up, you are building up your own confidence in someway. Its okay to have a difference of opinion, remember to respect every alternate view. You can have a healthy argument, however, avoid getting personal over a debate. The tact lies in making a point without making an enemy.
Believe in Karma
The philosophy of Karma emphasises on the simple principle of what goes around comes around. It’s important to do good, see good, speak good, think good, spread goodness. Your own good deeds and good thoughts will attract more good around you and shield you in your adversities. Its doesn’t happen overnight but it definitely works. Karma gets you opportunities and good luck. Karma returns in multiplication of whatever you put in. While it’s important to grow, be successful, happy, intelligent, impressive etc.. Your base should always be good Karma.
Manage your finances
Make money for yourself and save enough to be independent. Read and learn about investment opportunities and take charge of your financial planning. The more you are in control of your financial life the freer you are to exercise your own lifestyle. You don’t need to be super rich but make sure to reach a level where you are financially self-sufficient for the kind of life you choose to live. Rather than trying to find somebody to take care of you financially, be that somebody yourself. It empowers! Let your money be your own backbone and support both in good and bad times. Let it be the best thing you could depend on for your choices and let is be your strongest shield you have in your adversities.
Don’t Plan, Live
A lot of people are living lives as per the norms, rules, or benchmarks set by social standards. You need not follow societal rules as a rule book to live your life. Every person is born and raised in a different way. They have different social backgrounds, different parenting, different personal experiences, different financial backgrounds, a completely different story in all. Then why have a life with benchmarks set by age, time and so called social definitions of happiness or success. Live your own life your way, let it be as different as possible, its absolutely normal. Its okay to take a few more years to study, its okay to marry late or not marry, its okay to have more challenges than others, its okay to do what you feel is right as long as its not at the cost of someone else. Don’t be a follower, lead your life. Let it be as different as possible, as difficult as possible, as weird as possible, as long as your living it for yourself and its making you happy, that’s what matters!
© 2017, Prachi Acharekar. All rights reserved.