Many dreams and visions never see the light of the day for the only reason that when the going gets tough, painful or unbearable we are too quick to give up. This just can’t be a made up observation. If you must, here is how many find giving up an easier choice and solution;
- You have applied for a few jobs but never got the expected invitation for interviews –so you stop trying
- You have started dieting but along the way you can’t stop having cravings for the high calorie food items- so you drop your diet plans
- You are pushing the weights and can’t endure the pain that last for less than an hour—you walk away from your training
- You have approached a few investors with your business plan, you get turned down by a few and you obviously do the expected-you bin your plan.
Sadly, when the chips are down you become less invested in your own dreams and immediately give up. You never try being resilient or persistent but you pack it up and call it quits as soon as you start feeling the heat.
No doubt, being in a challenging situation is difficult and tough but a little perseverance can get you through tough times and yield the results you most desire. Here is how you can avoid the temptation to give up;
Stop paying attention to your emotions
In times of difficulties our emotions overcome our thinking and basically take control of our life. Our emotions overpower us and become our masters. In a more scary way they dictate how we respond to challenges. Sadly such emotions only focus on today without factoring in the long term benefits you can accrue at the end. Emotions make you focus just on the headaches, the stress and the struggles without even factoring in the benefits of pushing further. However, there is absolutely no benefit in allowing your emotions to take charge despite your current anguish. Here is how emotions talk us into giving up;
You: I have approached different venture capitalist but still can’t raise any funds, I am now tired of trying to raise capital as I am sick of getting rejected.
Your emotions: Such pain and frustration takes a toll on your health. Why not stop trying as you are constantly having headaches. Stress is not good for your being. Trust me you will feel better when you give up.
You: Yes that is right, I didn’t think anyone can fund me anyway, time to call it quits, I cant handle any more rejection(s).
There is no single day that passes without experiencing some form of emotion. What you need is to face up to your emotions and instead of letting them dictate your reasoning, you need to drown them and persevere. Engage your reasoning and let the benefits you are likely to derive drive you through any current mishaps. If its worthy it you are more than likely to get frustrated, fed-up and left feeling like giving up. Remember this is just a temporal phase, it will all pass so too will the emotions.
Keep the right company
It is easier to give up when surrounded with Naysayers or negative people who have settled and are content where there are. You can’t expect to be motivated and gain anything from people who are quick to tell you how impossible it is to attain your dreams or how you are wasting your time and energy chasing dreams that can never pass. Very often such people are quick and keen to tell you how at one point there were as enthusiastic and energetic as you are till reality donned on them. They will certainly convince you to give up to save yourself from pain and heartaches because they don’t want to see you go through difficulties. Not one single person can uplift you but take shots at whatever motivation and reason you have to go on.
Don’t wait any further, such company will erode you and derail your plans. Find new people to hang out preferably achievers and those who you can vibe with at the same level. Hearing tough stories from positive people and how they overcame can be the driver you need. Imagine hearing details of how such people went through excruciating circumstances but never chose comfort but ploughed through pain-nothing can be more motivating.
Watch Someone Do Something Impossible
Great people or those said to be great were once in the same place as you. They too faced the same challenges you are dealing with today. As insignificant as you think you are, you might be surprised how much you can get done when you observe others achieve their dreams.
You know the people who can motivate you by their achievements, you know the people who overcome the same challenges you face today but yet made it.
Take to time to understudy them, to observe them graft and achieve what many deem as impossible. That experience alone can make you push through limitations. Seeing someone fall and get up, seeing someone push through the impossible can just be the thing you need to believe that you to can do it. If someone can withstand challenges and create value using limited resources, create a vast empire from the little they have then you too can do it. Its not always the case that some of the successful people had it better, or are more talented or gifted, some started from nothing and worked their way up. So why not watch, learn, adopt, adapt and get going on.
No-one can blame you for wanting results especially after putting months or years of work. We are quick to want the results. When faced with challenges and problems many are quick to pass the pain for alternatives. When you start searching for plan B, C, where would you stop at, plan Z. Yes there are circumstances where you need to rework the plan but jumping from one plan to the next because you want to avoid the wait, the pain or anguish might not be a good plan. What happened to persevering and pushing forward? You could just be inches, or months away and then you walk away?
Persevering is a powerful way of getting to know yourself better. It makes you identify all talents and the greater energy that lies beneath you. What you discover about you, when you soldier on can actually surprise you. You have the opportunity to test your maturity, how determined you are and what your dream means to you. Perseverance leaves you at a different level, a place where you can take on anything. By the time you achieve what it is you are after, you would be feeling wiser, and deeper than ever.
You are likely to make an impact if you persist. I say this with most confidence when I say even the most insurmountable challenge will give away to continuous concentrated effort. Continue to improve on your job prospects, keep engaging investors, never stop approaching the difficult customers, never stop working on your dreams and all this will pay off. Perseverance can be a great way of you unlearning ways that make you feel like giving up
Re-frame Your Story
It is not an easy thing to be involved in a challenging situation especially when the end seem too further away. In such times, every day brings its own levels of stress- a hell lot of. You could be trying all sorts to just catch a break but no chance all you get is more headaches.
Overtime, the stress builds, you can literally taste it in your mouth. Such feeling and emotions choke you and only leave you feeling like this is it. Enough is enough.
When it gets tough, re-frame your story and start seeing things from a different perspective that stops you from giving up. Just remember your circumstances might have lasted thus far but they can never last forever. Your pain today only define your struggles but not your final outcome.
Widen your perspective and draw out the big picture in your head
From inception you need to draw the bigger picture, state what it is that you want to achieve and what it really means to you. If you can map up the plan and be sure to include likely drawbacks, challenges, and issues both known and unknown
By drawing the big comprehensive picture you are also making it known to yourself that you will face difficulties, and that some of the challenges are likely to break you. The big picture gives you clarity and make you anticipate some of the issues ahead.
The good thing about the bigger picture is that it gives you the full perspective of where you are coming from and where you are going. You are less likely to be taken by surprise when things start slowing down or when you encounter challenges. Your state of mind is more alert, prepared and ready to respond accordingly.
Keep holding on
Just like any other person in quest for something big, you will get tested until reach your breaking point. Your breaking point comes when you feel you have done the best you can and can’t push any further, can’t hold, can’t put any more energy, everything you ever has been drained off you. This is a point that defines greatness and separates the achievers from the dreamers. You can’t afford to let your dreams slip away but dig for the inner energy in you and keep pushing forward.
You owe it to yourself to say you aren’t going to quit despite anything. That means whether you are in pain, feeling beat down , overwhelmed , feeling stressed or not, you have to seriously shake off any doubts and keep going. Get yourself up and remain relentless.
© 2017, sheconquers. All rights reserved.
Great post, its not easy to go through dark times, this will certainly push me
Good that you find this useful
How timely, I have been contemplating on giving up so many a time. Now you just fired me up, I got go on
There is no price in giving up on your dreams or goals. Only you can push through
I too have been messed up in my emotions, its like you constantly feel like the struggle isn’t worth it. I have let my emotions take over me and like you clearly mentioned, such emotions are ruinous
Emotions can be our biggest letdowns, stay strong and plough through
Many a time its about thinking that those who made it are special, well yes, they are special in the sense they never gave up on themselves, nothing more. I like how you put this across, watch those who struggled and made it and see how its done, not just going about changing plans each time you feel like you are struggling. nicely put, I enjoyed this
Part of me says just hang on, something will give, the other says nah this is getting out of hand. You have shown how to deal with my conflict. thanks for the post
Wow! An inspiring writeup. It motivates me not to give up because I’m at the breaking point. I got to keep pushing
You have to think of it this way, seeds are sown in the dark, as they start a life they push the dirt (soil) up.As they do that, the seeds break open as they shoot out into a beautiful plant. In the same way, whatever it is you want to achieve, sometimes you have to get through a breaking point. You will be tested but that is the point where you are nearer to achieving your dreams
Great piece I do feel like giving up sometimes but I always remind myself that something good is around the corner
Just wanna thank you for this valuable post!
Love this article so much. Thank you for inspiring others to achieve their dreams. Much love to you girl
Its hard to keep doing the same thing without immediate results. I have had moments when I felt like throwing the towel.But to me I become more restless knowing very well I could have persevered. We all need this talk
The key is always to look at the end. What you want to achieve, the dream and the life you so want to live. Whatever obstacles you face in between should never make you quit but make you grow and be resilient.