We all want to be liked, to be part of a group of friends, work colleagues or even be perceived as a well-loved relative. Its human nature- we desire to be liked. We go about feeling or thinking that isolation is daunting and belonging is cool. Moreso now with social media we want people to follow us, to make friends with us, to like and comment our stuff !!We go crazy when our posts go unnoticed to an extent of even deleting those that attract less attention. Its just crazy.
Yes even though its human nature to want to be liked or seek a bit of acceptance, you don’t have to be sensitive to the point where you can’t respect and uphold your values so you avoid being disliked—that is certainly bad for your health. You need to break free and stop giving a f*ck. Have a new attitude and thinking-I rather be disliked for who I truly am but never ride in pretense to be who I am not so I can be liked.
I can’t tell you enough but there is no value in spending too much time worrying about those who dislike you. You will encounter people who dislike you and others who spew hate at any chance they get, be it a work, college or even in the neighbourhood so this how you can stop giving a damn about anyone who dislikes you;
You can’t please everyone
If there is any annoying person it’s the people pleaser. It doesn’t matter whether they are getting hurt or whether they are being taken advantage of—they will always get out of their way to please. We all know at-least that one person who does everything in their power to be a liked person. This is the person who can give up doing what they planned to fit a friend even when its at a cost. It doesn’t matter how many times they are put down, in-fact they can even apologise for getting hurt. That is an undesirable level of wanting to be liked-its toxic and unhealthy.
It’s a tall task to please everyone-people are never happy, sad or joyous about the same things. Its unthinkable and burdensome to please all people. It takes a lot of energy and a change in your identity to be liked by all people otherwise you risk running yourself down. When you pre-occupy yourself with being a darling, you end up forgetting the most important person to love and please—YOU and only YOU
You know there is a big difference between being accommodative and those seeking for validation-the people pleasers. Its just tough to please everyone, its unthinkable. You just can’t please everyone. Don’t waste time trying to be accepted and liked—its counterproductive. Find yourself, be who you are even if it means being disliked.
You don’t need everyone to like you.
So what happens when people choose not to like you, does your bank balance go down, do you lose sleep or your health—No and No- nothing happens. Life doesn’t end and neither does the world. On the plus, something happens when you chose not to give a f*ck. You hardly need to sweat about your haters or those keen to put you down. Your life is never anyone’s business, especially those outside your inner circle. Just like anyone else they are entitled to their opinions and that’s just about it.
Stay clear and put a big X on any negative or toxic people. You don’t need them in your life. Don’t leave any room for drama. If you notice anyone be it friends or family having a tendency of tearing you down, raise your red flags. You can’t stop people from disliking you but can choose to ignore them and do something meaningful with your time instead.
You can use your time wisely.
You only have 24 hours a day, so don’t use up time trying to get liked -you risk running yourself down. Your time is limited and you should only use it to enrichen yourself. Yes, haters will always hate, they always do their best to devalue your improvements -they thrive on intense dislike. Haters find glory in your failures-they love it when you are hitting the rock bottom. You are more likely to give haters more grief when you are winning-they will try by all means to cast all sorts of hate but then just remember why- you are doing great. Keep surpassing their levels and never look back.
Its burdening, time consuming and frustrating to focus on those who dislike you. Why not use the same time to focus on making yourself better-better not for anyone but you. Find time to make use of your gifts and talents and rise.
Those who dislike you are just haters who will always hate
It can actually be fulfilling and charming to know people are hating on you because of your accomplishments, ambitions and drive. You will meet people who are naturally like that, they feed on hate. Its in their DNA to hate. You will get judged, you will get the looks and all sorts of vitriol.
You are who you are, that great person just minding your business. Unfortunately, haters are envious and they too want what you got. Their hate is a manifestation of what lacks in their life. You can try to understand why they hate you but in most cases, they don’t even know who you truly are. Their hate is just blind, misguided and lack reason. So why waste your time trying to focus on haters. Keep winning, keep shinning and remain the better person.
Their opinions never count
There is true freedom and sense of self when you stop caring about what the next person thinks. You just need to find a few people you trust, your partner, family or friends-those who truly care about you. Their opinions or advice come from the heart and they mean well. Anyone else, the haters or those who dislike you, well you know what to do—shut their opinions off. This is not to say you are bullet-proof, some opinions will get to you but with time you will learn to ignore them. There is no benefit from paying attention to negativity.
I can count with so much confidence the few people whose opinions matter, the rest I just brush aside-literally. Why not go –pfft to those who can’t add any value or change your life. What gives them any right to say anything about your looks, your business, career or just trash your way of thinking or life? You can make do with a few people who keep you in check or give you a nudge to keep going forward and stick to your goals.
You know what is best for you and that is what counts
When it comes to what is best for you, there is no left or right -only you are the master, the custodian and the bearer of the choice. Yet as if they know you better, some people are always quick to make your life their business by churning out never-ending comments and remarks especially when you make mistakes.
After all, don’t we all have quirks? Don’t be surprised to notice that people who are quick to pass comments are insecure about a particular thing and they only choose to project it on you. Focusing on their dislike will consume you.
Let your inquisitiveness and drive to improve but not to be liked motivate you to take on new opportunities to learn new things, skills, new ways. You know where you are lacking-you know areas that need strengthening. When you are confident with who you are and about, you never get distracted by those who dislike you but can learn from past mistakes and experiences. Remain resolute, focused, determined despite any downfalls-pick yourself up and keep going.
People are judging you right now
For people who make it a point to dislike you, it doesn’t how matter how much you try to be accommodating. People will always judge you and sadly there is nothing you can do about that. I am not talking about egotistic, rude or unruly people. If you are any of those don’t be comfortable or get swayed by this post. Whatever you are doing, for as long as its not illegal or immoral just go for it. You can only achieve much if you ignore people who are judgemental.
People don’t really give a shi* about what you do so don’t go about trying to give a damn about those who judge you. Don’t be surprised the day you stop focusing on those who dislike you that, they start liking you more. Instead of spending your time focusing on those who dislike you, start spending more time with the few loved ones.
© 2017 – 2018, sheconquers. All rights reserved.
Thank you for this I used to be that person who liked to please everyone for the fear of being disliked it shredded me thin to the point where I was depressed thankfully I’m not in that dark place anymore I’m free. If people dislike me I couldn’t careless I simply focus on those who like me
Hi Barbara. therein lies the problem. focusing on being liked can surely spread you thin. It will leave you frustrated, stressed and depressed.
Great piece cheers?
Good to hear, thanks
Well said if you don’t like me who cares go away and give room for those who are meant to be here
The earlier they show the hate, the earlier they leave, the better for your life. The better ones who care will find their way much easily
I used to put a lot more effort to please a gang of so called friends..this liberated me so much, no more of that
Gangs of friends can in most cases lead people astray. Wanting to fit in and be like a cool friend can rob you of your own identity
If I think about it all the liked persons never really achieve a thing–why waste time wanting to be liked
You can never get everyone to like you, you put it well
For as long as I got my life sorted, I ain’t worried about who is disliking me. Dislike all you like and watch as I climb to the top.
You are spot on, its more about you. Improve yourself, love yourself. Haters will always be
Enjoyed reading this
Glad you did Amy