Things you should stop expecting from others

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” -William Shakespeare

When you expect anything from anyone you set yourself for hurt and disappointment. This is not to say you don’t deserve the basics from people in your life, work colleagues, business partners but when you count on their effort or contribution for some things you are likely to get disappointed. You only know having expectations is shi*t, when the people fail you and bring pain and torment. You will get disappointed, you will get angry and more-so stressed. But then how did you end up being this emotional and stressed? The expectations you have on people can be very misplaced, misjudged and overrated.  When you have unreasonably high expectations you will find yourself thinking; “I always get let down by people, I am always going out of my way to help but when its my turn no-one comes through, Its just constant heartaches”.  You need to stop expecting some of these things and here is why?

Stop wanting to be liked by everyone

There is always that person who no matter how great you are, will never ever like you. You just don’t do it for them. You will get frowned at, gossiped and disliked. The best reaction- smile, walk tall and be sure to carry yourself with much confidence. Own your world. To be disliked might not be a comfortable thing but you can’t let that get to you and rob you of your worth and happiness. There are plenty of people around who actually value and respect you. Make time for people who enjoy your company and those who vibe with you. The right people will always love you. Expecting people to like you is certainly unhealthy. Expect some people to dislike you but be smart enough to avoid any negativity they may want to direct at you. Always be alert and put your effort to those who are kind to you and appreciate every bit about you. Don’t get this confused, some people will always find you worthless whilst others find you priceless. You should always know your worth.

There is always that person who no matter how great you are, will never ever like you. You just don’t do it for them. You will get frowned at, gossiped and disliked. The best reaction- smile, walk tall and be sure to carry yourself with much confidence. Own your world. To be disliked might not be a comfortable thing but you can’t let that get to you and rob you of your worth and happiness. There are plenty of people around who actually value and respect you. Make time for people who enjoy your company and those who vibe with you. The right people will always love you. Expecting people to like you is certainly unhealthy. Expect some people to dislike you but be smart enough to avoid any negativity they may want to direct at you. Always be alert and put your effort to those who are kind to you and appreciate every bit about you. Don’t get this confused, some people will always find you worthless whilst others find you priceless. You should always know your worth.

Stop expecting people to reciprocate your effort or kindness

Its sort of common sense thing that when you do someone a favour you shouldn’t expect anything in return. But, when you always go out of your way, you end up expecting the same treatment you offer others. It feels good to get something in return, but there is a danger if you don’t get anything back.  Sadly this is how you end up getting in a messed up situation. As tough as it is, you should never expect people to treat you the way you treat them.

When you go by putting expectations on people to reciprocate your kindness, you will get disappointed, you will be annoyed and you will feel betrayed. C’mon there is no-one whether your sibling, parent, partner or friend who can behave in the exact way you want them to. Its just what it is, your kindness and thoughtfulness is unique to you. Placing any expectation on people and hoping they use their common sense to be kind to you is a sure way of setting yourself for disappointment. Trust me you will definitely get disappointed. I say this without a doubt that one way or the other you will be upset, you will get frustrated and be resentful.  Have a new approach, put less expectation on people and just hope for the best.

Stop expecting people to always agree with you

People will always have a different mindset to yours. Siblings in a family, people in a relationship, workmates, they all differ at some point. You will have disagreements – you will get different opinions. You will be surprised how even people who are close to you think so differently to you. This is nothing against you unless if purposefully done. You don’t have to change their opinions or try and be like them.  and to even dislike your own views.

Expect people to disagree with you or have different opinions but don’t go about life seeking validation. Trust your decisions and be confident enough to know who you, what you want and stand for whether people agree or disagree with you. You don’t have to seek or rely on anyone’s opinions. People are never short of opinions,  some that will turn your world upside down. Opinions can leave you feeling dejected, unknowledgeable or even unfocused. This can’t be the way to get on with your life. Only you know what is best for you so don’t go about expecting people to share and agree with your dreams, your plans or your future. Follow your path, guard your dreams and your goals. You don’t have to measure to anyone’s opinions or expectations. This is your life. Make it a point never to be cowed to live a life that other people want for you. You owe it to yourself to follow your dreams letting your intuition to guide you towards your destination. Don’t veer off but stay on course and you will certainly find success and satisfaction.

Whatever situation you find yourself in, dare to believe in yourself even when people disagree with you.  Be guided by your intuition.

Stop expecting people to do the right thing based on your standards

Your standards and values are a constant reminder of what you want out of your life. Most often they are about you and only you should strive to meet those standards. Ofcourse, there is nothing wrong with being around people of similar standards to yours. But don’t burden yourself to think that all people will value the same thing you do. People come from different backgrounds; people have different ambitions and are not necessarily as driven by the same things as you.

You only have control of what goes in or out of your life. This is your chance to dictate what is your taste, preferences, what is acceptable or non-acceptable. This is just you. Don’t expect people to climb to your level, let it be their choice to raise their own standards. If they want to be around you, they will naturally upgrade to match your thinking, habits, character, mindset, and actions to a new level.

Stop thinking you can change anyone

It hurts when someone dear to you is behaving differently or has an annoying behaviour or attitude. You always wish they changed much sooner than later. Its upsetting to be dealing with people who have a bitc** attitude or are just upright annoying. You don’t finish a sentence before they take a jab at you. You obviously want them to change.

Sorry darling -You can’t change people and sometimes you can’t even influence them to change. It is a burden you cant carry or even accomplish. Yes its normal to have such desires but the best you can do is express your feelings, let them know of your misgivings and where you stand -That is the most you can do. Its beyond you to expect anyone to change immediately. You need to stop excepting people to change for you. You will get frustrated when all you want is for the person to change for better. When you push someone to change they will stubbornly remain just to spite you. Instead, support them, allow them to make mistakes and have the freedom to improve where they are lacking. You will be surprised how they can change into someone better.  If there is no chance of change, you can accept them as they are or live without them

Stop expecting people to be on top of things

Its no surprise that a hell lot of times, things can go wrong pretty quick with no warning. We all make mistakes. There is no shame in this. This happens to all of us –life has a tendency of throwing a curve-ball. Empathise and be compassionate when your loved one, colleagues, or friends are at the rock bottom. Be understanding, someone’s situation can take painfully longer to get normalised. It’s not easy for anyone to have everything under control in just a snap. So if anyone is trying to get back on their feet, don’t criticise them. Help them build, given them support. Instead of expecting them to turn around their situation, help them focus but never try and control or belittle them.

Stop expecting people to never change

This is a tough one. Just because you went to same high school, you started at the same level in a job or you been in a relationship or known to someone doesn’t mean people don’t change. There is a thing called growth. Your views, thoughts, perceptions or even your standards and expectations change each year. The little or huge change makes you a different person. As you transform other people around you could be going through the same process. You can’t expect a person you last saw ten years ago to be the same person.  People change with age and time. Be ready to accept people for who they have become whether you like the change or not. You can’t expect people to remain at the same level.

 

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