Tips for self-confidence

There is no doubt that confidence affects every aspect of whom we are, how we interact, relate, build relationships, our body image, and even personal achievements. Confidence is one of the traits that when harnessed can lead you far and indeed a premise to achieve in business, sports, profession, education and even in a relationship. There is no amount of fear, perceived or real that stops a self-confident person. For the less confident, most often they allow fear to take over every bit of their life letting it cripple and overwhelm them. Regardless of what life throws at them, confident people find a way of turning a negative situation into a positive outlook.  Wouldn’t it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You too can. Confidence can be taught, you can gain it through experience, observation and even study. It takes you to want it.

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience. However, if you ever asked an arrogant colleague how you can boost your confidence, chances are they will turn around and say “just be confident, man!”, however confusing that maybe.

Be encouraged if you have struggled or still struggling with low-confidence and experiencing associated factors that include fear of the unknown, criticism, being unhappy with personal appearance (self-esteem), feeling unprepared, poor time-management, lack of knowledge and previous failures. Confidence is not a static measure, our poise to perform roles and tasks can increase and decrease; some days we may feel more confident than others.

You don’t have to be reliant on others to boost your confidence nor changing the belief that you are not competent, not very smart or not very attractive. There are ways in which you can take charge and control your life, gaining the much-needed self-confidence. Try some of the tips here, these aren’t necessarily exhaustive and certainly non-prescriptive but you can equip yourself with key takeaway that you feel resonates with you.

• When you are least prepared, it can be very difficult to articulate yourself and remain in charge. You easily give away your position to others as you feel you are less informed and have nothing to offer or cant add any value, On the contrary when you are in the know, when you have amassed the knowledge, you all of a sudden exude a sense of self-achievement, you are ready to position yourself amongst others not necessarily in an egoistic manner. You feel you can share, you can add value and there is more than you can offer. Just as Arthur Ashe says “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self- confidence is preparation.” When you assimilate knowledge you become empowered and confident. 

• Just go for it don’t worry about being in the wrong. If you get it wrong the first time, aren’t you aware that you have knowledge of how not to get it wrong next time? Understand failure can knock your confidence level if you aren’t aware of how it can contribute to your achievements latter on. Learn from the mistakes, from failures Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it more as a learning experience.

• Get to know yourself. Sometimes we go about life thinking we are in charge and in the full knowledge of whom we really are. Along the way, you pick habits and attributes from those you interact with, if you are in a business or personal relationship, you might end up picking a lot more things that don’t define you. How can you then begin to fix your confidence if you aren’t sure of who you really are? Don’t you think at some point you need to detoxify things you picked, and at least leave you be you. It is only after giving yourself space that you can begin to listen to your thoughts and reconnect with the real you. Such a personal dialogue informs you of your passion, your ambitions, your abilities, talents and what you real limitations are. There is no better way to gain confidence that to know who you really are, your inner stuff, what drives you and where your passion lies. Figure out what really excites you by simply trying a whole bunch of stuff out. 

• Take responsibility for yourself.This is the first and most important ingredient in the self-confidence formula. Sometimes we underestimate our potential because we let others judge what we can offer. You don’t need any form validation from anyone. It is about time you start auditing your own qualities and tell yourself that you have more to offer to the world. If you have been short-changing yourself, you need to summon your faculties and refocus on you. Be prepared to take risks and discover what is best for you. Who else is more knowledgeable about your capabilities, traits or fears better than you? Harness the power in you and unleash your very best.

• Get the experience: When you successfully complete tasks and goals, your confidence increases.
  What is of primary importance is to set yourself achievable goals and targets even those unrelated to the ultimate solution for your rise. By setting yourself daily to-do-list that are achievable you are able to distract your mind from dwelling on the negatives. A clearer mind is a panache for you to focus on tasks at hand, and any success at them will boost your confidence. This is only possible if you drop the past and start looking forward to the future. Just as Michelle Obama says “Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.”

Building self-confidence is a process, as counterintuitive as this might sound, you will fall, fail and possibly embarrass yourself along the way but what better way to learn from mistakes than to deny yourself an opportunity to gain the much-needed buoyancy. True confidence develops from an increasing belief that you can rely on yourself to take action and follow through, no matter what the result. When you continuously channel your energy towards dealing with your immediate situation, you develop thick skin readying yourself for whatever life throws. Blake Lively sums it up when she says “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”

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