ways to overcome failure

There are many things we have all failed in, however small or big; failure to manage a relationship, failure to secure a loan, failure to stick to New Year’s resolution, failure in launching business or a career. Failure has a negative impact in our lives especially if we choose to believe that by failing we too become failures. What escapes our mind is that in failure there is also an opportunity for growth. As counter-intuitive as this might sound, it seems those we define as doing well have cemented their legacy through their own failures.

Failure is not about failing but on contrary an opportunity to find out what went wrong in your past attempts and finding ways to rectify. Finding your feet after a failed attempt is perhaps the most difficult thing demanding your patience, persistence, and focus.  Importantly, it is paramount that you get negative feelings you have about your past shortcomings so you can take on your next challenge.

It is at times draining to re-focus on your next steps again and put the pieces together but there is no use abandoning your restoration half-way through solely because of your past failures. Curtailing this process is likely to make you regress and find yourself back to the starting point where your past failure(s) hurts most. Dealing and managing past failure is delicate and demand you to shield away from actions or feelings that can cause you to consider yourself a failure. These ways might be what you need to embrace failure and take on the next challenge.

• Failing doesn’t make you a failure; There is a clear cut difference between being a failure and having experienced failure. You need to treat failure for what it is, just a setback. When you treat yourself as a failure you fall into a destructive mode making you feel like you can’t achieve anything in life. You often find yourself mulling and wondering if you could have done more to avert the situation or prevent it in the first instance. Such burdening analysis or off the mark makes you feel disengaged and likely to feel like you are a failure. Before sending yourself into downward spiral always remember that; the failure you are currently experiencing is an isolated event, it doesn’t mean your next venture is going to be a failure as well.
• Be a fast learner, use your past mistakes to inform your next move; How can you know what works when you haven’t tried. Sometimes even in business, relation or career, there isn’t a clear answer or path to follow. When you have to deal with so many unknowns, it is quite a task to mitigate against any risks associated with your goals. Take your failure as a blessing in disguise. You need to identify key takeaways and lessons so you can better prepare for your next steps. You need to have an open mind and accept that your past failures are a sign that you might have missed key things. Addressing past failure requires more than just acknowledgment but an understanding that will redress them. You can’t expect to find solutions immediately- it takes time to extinguish past experiences.
• You are not alone; When you experience failure you are likely to feel alienated, let down and think that you are alone. Putting yourself down only serves to exacerbate your pain. Realise that you are not the first to go through such experiences. There are people either in business, relationships, or career who have failed many a time but preserved till they achieved their goals. You might know some of them or some are influential people whose past information is available in biographies, blogs or speeches. Most often successful people make reference to their past failures and how they embraced it. You can learn from their experiences or establish network with them. Networking with people who have gone through your current or past experience can enrichen your thinking, approach, and strategy going forward.
• Change your beliefs about failure; You need to change your attitude and beliefs about failure and accept it as one of the methods for managing your past mistakes. Unknown to many, success comes after failing many times until you find what works.

• To succeed you have to experience failure; Most successful people’s journeys are littered with failure but unfortunately, we tend to just see the glamour and glitter but never the dirt they had to get through. Setting yourself ambitions targets tend to attract setbacks. You might have exhausted all possible worst-case scenarios and put measures to avert any of them but they are setbacks that just seem to occur. Realise that some of these setbacks much as they retard your progress are vital for your development and prepare you for the next challenge. You current setbacks are just reminders that you need to pause and think about your next direction or rethink your present situation.
• Shield away from negative thoughts; Depending on circumstances and value placed on the failed event, there is a likelihood you end up beating yourself up for it. You are tempted to question your abilities and competencies. As you know yourself better, it is best to catch on these negative thoughts so you can diffuse them.  You are still a capable person who is able to deliver on even bigger challenges. Try and use affirmations that can make you drown any negative thoughts.

Did you know that failure is one of the key steps before reaching success even though when we experience it we feel like it erodes our esteem and confidence. Yes, you might have failed in the past but there is no need to drag along your past mistakes in your life preconditioning you to be afraid to fail again. Stop being more pre-occupied with what could go wrong again or finding excuses for why any new opportunities aren’t a good fit for you.

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